Whenever men adjust themselves in public and realise that I saw them, I like to give them two thumbs up to let them know I enjoyed the show!

I hate you a little when you take a screenshot of your iPhone, and I can see you have more battery life than me.

In a relationship, the first person to make the other scream, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!" wins!

Failproof way to piss off your Ex! 1. Send sexy pic 2. Wait for reply 3. Reply back: Sorry, that was intended for someone else Works every time.

In the putrid hell called life, I am Alice and you guys are my Wonderland. See, I can be romantic. Now who wants to date me?

I hate being bi-polar. It's fuckin' awesome!

At times I pretend to be normal; but then it gets dead b-o-r-i-n-g, so I go back to being me.